


Anyway

by MorganaNK



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-30
Updated: 2016-06-30
Packaged: 2018-07-19 06:03:08
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 463
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7348042
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MorganaNK/pseuds/MorganaNK
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Angel's point of view during the episode 'The Prom'</p>
            </blockquote>





	Anyway

**Author's Note:**

> Characters are the property of Joss Whedon and all interested parties.  
> Any lyrics used belong to the respective song writer and/or performer  
> No copyright infringement intended

Her tears have soaked through my shirt, my skin damp from their caress. I can feel her body trembling as I hold her tightly in my arms. Maybe I shouldn’t have come; I thought I was doing the right thing, giving her this one perfect moment where she could be who she always wanted to be; a normal girl enjoying her prom in the arms of the man she loves. Maybe I made a mistake.

I’m dying, which is a pretty crazy thing as I have been dead for over two hundred years, but it is the truth all the same. I feel as if I am being consumed by a black hole; slowly swallowing up everything that I know, everything that I am. My head is light and my heart is heavy. Have I made a mistake?

'When I think about the times we had it, seems a hundred years ago  
I can’t believe those days have finally gone for good  
When you believed in me through good and bad  
How were you supposed to know that my soul was lost and my heart was made of wood  
So soon we really have to go  
I never wanted this; I never wanted this you know'

If this is for the best, if this is the right thing, then why does it hurt so much? Why is my every instinct to beg for your forgiveness? If you carry half as much pain as I do then you must be dying too. 

I can feel your heart racing, the blood as it pounds through your veins, the love that both invigorates and suffocates me. Your body calls out to me with a million different voices and elicits a million different needs and desires. That is why I have to go. I love you so much; it is not safe for me to be around you. I have to set you free.

'And if I knew then what I knew today, I wouldn’t make the same mistakes  
Will I be wise enough to know when things are right  
And if I knew of any other way, if I had a little of what it takes  
I’d think enough of us to make it worth the fight'

Spike was right about us; we will always be in love. Not a day will go by when I don’t think of you and regret doing this; but still I have to go.

The last song fades as the night draws to a close. God this hurts.

'And so before you say goodbye  
It wasn’t meant to hurt, it wasn’t meant to make you cry  
I know it’s not much but hear me say  
I didn’t want to throw our love away, anyway'

I think I’ve made a mistake.


End file.
